Supporting Self-Destruction

"support any individual’s self-determination to pursue change in their same sex attractions"

I ran into the above declaration over at a blog about ex-gay ministries. The context itself was really interesting, but what really struck me was that the blog authors, who have presented themselves as in opposition to ex-gay ministries and reparative therapy, at least, enough to criticize such organizations regularly, actually endorsed the idea above.

The evidence for the destructiveness of ex-gay ministries and reparative therapy is lengthy and convincing. Which raises the question - is it ethical, is it humane, is it Christian, to support someone in an attempt to mutilate themselves psychologically?

On the one hand, conservative Christians claim that they are 'saving' GLBTQ people from self-destruction. The problem there, of course, is that homosexuality is not intrinsically harmful, and what harm is associated with being GLBTQ, is predominantly caused by the prejudice against homosexuality. Even the theological concern over damnable sin is unfounded, for Christ promised forgiveness for all sins:

John 3: 14-18
Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.[e] 16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[f] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.[g]

In the case of ex-gay ministries, there is too much evidence of harm directly caused by those ministries. I've touched on some, a tiny fragment, in prior posts. No doubt, it will be needful to cover more in the future. Here is a single personal account for today. Some snippets to encourage you to read the whole account:

But after nine months at WGA, she still felt attracted to women and decided that the program wasn’t rigorous enough. She became close to one of the staff members, a compassionate thirtysomething ex-gay man named Scott Kingry, but she didn’t want to end up making the choices he had: Convinced homosexual behavior was a sin but unable to form a connection with a woman that would lead to marriage and sex, he had been celibate for nearly a decade.

- - -

Months later, however, a letter to a friend revealed a tangle of confused feelings: “I’m 30 now, and I really want to be straight, married, and possibly have kids, and I guess I feel like I’m running out of time. I mean, I really really really (!) want to be married to a woman, but again, that’s not what…God intended.” Soon after, Christine’s faith in her therapy was shaken by a piece of powerful news: Ex-gay poster-husband John Paulk had been seen and photographed at a Washington, D.C., gay bar. Paulk’s apparent “slip” created a national uproar. On the Internet, Christine was finding an increasing number of references to ex-ex-gays. “I’m so angry with God that he doesn’t change people who want to change!” she wrote to a pastor friend at the time. “I just feel ultimately misled and very betrayed by…those who would promise healing.”

- - -

Christine was ready to admit that ex-gay counseling hadn’t worked. That realization was triggered, in part, when she saw Peterson Toscano’s well-received one-man show, Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House: How I Survived the Ex-gay Movement. His hilarious observations about his experiences in the Love in Action program reinforced her feeling that it was safe to come out of the ex-gay closet. Browsing Christian websites, she found that there was a growing interest in a more traditional form of Christianity that accepted homosexuality. She also began attending a support group at Denver’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center in a nondescript downtown building. There she encountered several women she’d first met at Where Grace Abounds—they were ex-ex-gay now too. Bonding with other ex-exes, she finally seemed to have found the one group in which she truly belonged.

Jesus seems to take it for granted that even we who are mere imperfect humans, know at least little bit about right and wrong.

Matthew 7, 9-12 "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will our Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

As I pondered the support of pursuing reparative therapy/ex-gay ministry, it occured to me that good parallels exist, which we can examine and consider.

Within Christianity there are some congregations, some denominations, that practice certain expressions of faith that could be described as extreme. They handle poisonous snakes, and/or drink liquids that are at least represented as being poison, and have a scriptural basis to support these practices. That last part might look familiar. So will this:

"If a worshipper is bitten, poisoned, or burned during the services, it is believed to be because that individual lacked faith, has sin(s) unrepented for in their life, or that it was a message from God, either to teach them suffering or to demonstrate to those lacking faith in the ceremony that the poison is real.[citation needed] Few seek medical attention after being bitten.[citation needed] While children attend the services, the worshippers strongly deny that any of them have been bitten.[citation
needed]"

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, citations are required to substantiate those statements, and Wikipedia is susceptible to error. So let's look around some more together.

Snake Handlers Hang On in Appalachian Churches

"Junior G. McCormick is a serpent-handling pastor from Georgia. He explains that, for him, handling snakes is simply following the gospel to the letter. "Other folks don't do this because their churches don't believe, or it's just something they're scared of," he said. "They come to that scripture but want to jump over that part because it's a deadly thing."

Now that really is similar to what anti-gay churches say about churches that accept GLBTQ people.

"Churches that practice serpent handling tend to be wary of publicity. This desire for privacy stems, in large part, from negative media attention that inevitably follows the practice after injuries or deaths due to snakebite occur.

"There are over 100 documented deaths from serpent bites," said Hood. "In every tradition, people are bitten and maimed by them. They risk their lives all the time by handling them. If you go to any serpent-handling church, you'll see people with atrophied hands, and missing fingers. All the serpent-handling families have suffered such things.

"It's a misconception that these people believe they won't get hurt," Hood explains. "The Bible says to take up serpents, not that they won't be bitten. If they're bit, that's up to God. The issue is obedience to God. There's no magic power type of stuff. They know the reality of it because so many families have had people hurt and killed."

No doubt, you've seen several other strong similarities between those who believe in serpent handling, and those who condemn homosexuality and support ex-gay ministries and reparative therapies.

Ex-gay ministries very much parallel serpent handling/poison drinking ministries.

There is one major difference though: society is not threaded through and through with punitive laws, prejudices, hate crimes designed to coerce people into becoming serpent handling Christians. But the pressure on GLBTQ people to be made into heterosexuals, is continuous and pervasive, invasive and all but inescapable.

As another source put it"snake handlers “are willing to die for their beliefs” - but with ex-gay ministries and reparative therapies, for the most part, those with the most at risk, benefit the least. The leaders make fortunes from books and speaking engagements, claim accolades and worship from desperate families and motivated politicians - leaving the suffering for others.

Who here would genuinely support a friend, a family member in the effort to please God by handling poisonous snakes, or drinking poison? Some people have survived such worship practices, others have not.

If your mother told you, "God told me He wants you to jump off that 12 story building over there" - would you? Some people have survived a fall from that height. Many others, have not.

Some people appear, for now at least, to live heterosexually as a result of ex-gay ministries, most do not, and too many have died as a result. So, I have to wonder, which of us, if our friend asked for comfort, peace, a fulfilled life and relationship, would we send him to a reparative therapist or ex-gay ministry instead?

When struggling GLBTQ people cry out for love and acceptance,

there are people who would give a rock, a serpent, a reparative therapist, instead.